This Floating Poo Was Way Too Meaningful! It's the Television Disappointments of the Past Year.

As we reflect on the TV offerings of the past year, a handful of series stand out not for their excellence, but for their spectacular failures. From awkward sequels to bafflingly poor docuseries, here are the programmes that left us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this divisive spin-off? Plagued with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the third series began, it seemed as if it had finally found its groove. Then arrived an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator announced this would be the final series. It ended on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was just way too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers undeniably had a hoot picking apart every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a small sob?

All’s Fair

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was almost the least of this drama's issues. The recipient of a very rare zero star assessment, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the flaws. The hilariously wooden writing? The tedious veneration of affluence and materialism? The seemingly wilful procession of cliches? Performances so bad they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and forget about this series again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the legal troubles, abuse claims and parental shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d truly have gleaned it from this three-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive hedonism while struggling to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any sympathy this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charismatic but flippant egotist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the outset: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.

MobLand

Dodgy figures meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just really boring; a conflict over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which felt rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively angry commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into quaint lifestyle as intentional statements. But then you view them and are compelled to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine animated; a poster for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark sayings and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are obviously interesting things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, identity, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series opted not to say them. Rather, the experience was like consuming a marketing brochure. She obviously has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As players competed, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too complicated to explain what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up reeking of a programme that was straining desperately to live up to something way beyond it.

Too Much

How does one succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this starry romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt uncomfortable.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart recruitment of talented emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a single joke milked to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be treated sensitively. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lurching from strangely breezy, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A total mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We love the star … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and killing off – intellectuals frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This hagiography followed the content creator renowned for explicit escapades as she undertook her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was far greater examination of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who appeared to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific shots and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.